Catch 22

uscisSome of you who take interest in my transatlantic journey know how I’m aspiring to become a fear-mongering/freedom-loving citizen of this wonderful land. And lately it seems that the only thing obstructing my goal, is US Immigration. This of course is a little like saying that the only thing standing in between you and a Nobel Price is your abnormally- low, Forrest-Gump-like IQ.

So today, I received a letter from Immigration telling me how I missed my interview appointment with them a few days ago, that I never knew I had. All because the letter with that information never reached me. I picked up the phone and called them to clear things up and reschedule another appointment.

The number provided was, as one might suspect, to a convoluted automated phone system with 543 menu options, none of which were in any way related to why I was calling. I randomly navigated around for a while and after having the phone system hang up on me 3 times, I finally managed to stumble my way through to a sub-sub-sub-sub-sub menu option closely resembling something that might be related to whatever it is I thought I might have been calling for, 10 hours earlier when I started dialing.

The automated voice at the other end instructed me to use the key pad on my phone to input my case number. I started typing.

Automated voice: “I’m sorry, not enough digits, try again”.

Hmph. Ok. I tried the number again.

AV: “I’m sorry, not enough digits, try again”.

Gaaah! Number, one more time.

AV: “I’m sorry, not enough digits. Goodbye!”

________  ______  _______ (insert words that make small children cry here, in the order of your own choosing).

I did this a few more times, and by pure accident typed in a number combination that got me through the menu system to a live human being. One with a pulse. Euphoria ensued.  Below is our exchange.

Immigration Agent Person: Hi, how can I help you?

Me: Well, I guess I missed my appointment that I didn’t know I had. Can you help me reschedule it for another time?

IAP: It’s out of our jurisdiction, this matter is now handled by your local immigration office.

Me: Ok? Can I have their number?

IAP: No. You can’t contact them. They don’t take calls.

Me: Ok…

IAP: I can send them a request for them to consider rescheduling your appointment.

Me: Great! Please do. That’s what I want.

At this point the person proceeded to write down all my information. Literally ALL my information, as if  my case file had been purged from their system.

Fast forward to what felt like very-close-to-forever  later.

IAP: Sir, I’m going to put you on hold while I enter the information into our system.

Me: ?!!!

Seriously. Why is this a two-step process?!! Why isn’t the person entering this information into the computer system to begin with. Were they writing things down on paper scrolls to then transmit them by smoke signal to a secretary?!!  What kind of  bottomless pit where my tax dollars being thrown into?!! I was now slowly starting to loose faith in humanity ….

(time went by as I was on hold)

IAP: Now, where was it that you’re interview was scheduled to take place?

Me: Eeeeh. I don’t know. It must have been in that letter I never received from you guys.

IAP: Well can you tell me what the closest local immigration office to you is?

Me: Isn’t this information that you can tell me? I don’t keep track of these things you know, can’t you look this up?

IAP: I’m going to put you on hold while I look that up.

(On hold again. Minutes later the phone call continues)

IAP: I will send a request to your local branch tomorrow.

Me: Ok. That sounds great. So, how can I check the status of this?

IAP: You can’t. You can’t call them.

Me: So how will I know about my appointment?

IAP: They’ll send you a letter.

(Sound of me banging my head against the wall)

30 Responses to “Catch 22”

  1. Burgerman says:

    Fantastic! :D And some people complain about bureaucracy in Sweden. Spik i foten! I guess there’s some new hope now though. Better keep a good eye on the mailbox.

  2. Fredrik says:

    Good Luck Josef K!

  3. peteDog says:

    Bureaucracy is the same in all countries it seems, just with different degrees of corruption.

  4. Ally says:

    Let’s hope they don’t make a habit of this . . .

  5. peteDog says:

    Actually, I totally forgot about that site. I should have just gone there. They are listed there, and looking at it, it doesn’t look so hard to get a human. It just seems hard once you have to listen to all the menu options 5 times. :)

  6. JaCal says:

    Note to self – make sure future UCIS letters make it all the way to your mailbox (befriend mailman)… or develop advance psychic capabilities to be able to show up at the right place at the right time – regardless of details such as an advance notice…

  7. peteDog says:

    Yes, psychic capabilities would be nice. It’s just very frustrating trying to get something done here in the US. Even when it’s a privately held company. There’s always a wall of complex phone systems to get through before you can get someone on the phone that has the power to actually do something. This is of course their goal, to put up a high enough barrier so 99% of people who don’t have the patience give up and stop bothering them.

  8. Lisa says:

    It’s the Department of Redundancy Department! Seriously, consider selling this as a screenplay. Your new career awaits!

  9. grodgkopc says:

    dSB0cnVseSBsb3ZlZC4mIzgyMjE7PC9wPjxwPktub3R0IGhhZCBhbHJlYWR5IG1hZGUgaXQgaW4g Louboutin With Squadron Leader JA Vick at its head, 607 met a group of the German intruders over Mayfield, in Kent, attacking the 60 or more bombers before their fighter escort could fly into a position to a Coach Factory Outlet
    11. Nice neighbours Gucci Outlet Online Mary grew up in Bath 鈥?her great great grandfather was a master baker in the 1860s 鈥?and cookery was the only subject she enjoyed at school. At 13, she contracted polio and was in hospital for three months. It left her with a twisted spine and weaker left hand (which prompted one Bake Off viewer to write in with a remedy for arthritis). It was an experience which 鈥渢oughened her up鈥?and taught her to make the most of every opportunity.
    The efforts started in 1995 when Remsa s office, along with the River Route Advisory Committee, the Burlington County Board of Chosen Freeholders and the Burlington County Bridge Commission set out to create the long-term development plan. , Journal Sentinel Inc. All rights reserved. u Michael Kors Handbags
    When a routine ball down the line was flicked harmlessly on, Davies had all the time in the world to take control of the situation. Rather than do that, Davies dawdled and Johnson closed him down. Coach Handbags Singh said the purpose of Tuesday’s Ebola symposium is to communicate to the general public and other officials. He said hospitals and health care leaders want to make sure they are all on the same page.
    j In four other northeast towns in Yobe state, gunmen drove in and fired into the air, frightening people to flee into the bush and disrupting any voting, police said. Coach Outlet The AP also found a locked cell with eight slaves inside, and handed a video camera to a dockworker, himself a former slave, to take close-up footage. Under the cover of darkness, the AP team used a small wooden boat to approach a trawler with slaves who yelled to them, pleading for help to go home. Coach Outlet Store Online
    “We also know historically that the most experienced sides do very well in World Cups so we were taking a risk.” And for the time being, Capaldi loves that Doctor too. 鈥淚 feel guilty,鈥?he adds. 鈥淓very day is amazing.鈥?
    There was a lot of deferring, Henderson of the final possession. Somebody s got to make a play. Speaking on the occasion of the 11th anniversary of the Krue Se mosque killings in Pattani yesterday in which 32 Muslim insurgent suspects were killed by security officers during clashes at the mosque, the network yesterday asked all sides to heed its proposals to support peaceful solutions. y Louboutin
    鈥淚 am absolutely overjoyed. We are not experienced bid writers, our skills are working with the young people themselves. Ray Ban Sunglasses 鈥淭hat infrastructure and transport made a big difference, and if the council can breathe even more life into the town with its plans for the railway station, then that could open the door for further investment.
    Other bill vetoed late Monday by Bullock:Senate Bill 148, by Rep. Cary Smith, R-Billings, to hire a private company that would conduct computerized checks of welfare program eligibility and pay the company a portion of the fraud it uncovers.Bullock said it would duplicate systems the state already has, to detect levels of fraud that are negligible.HB533, by Rep. Kirk Wagoner, R-Montana City, to allow holders of concealed weapons to carry them in restaurants that serve alcohol and other businesses under certain circumstances, and to say that only those committing crimes could be convicted of illegally carrying a concealed weapon.Bullock said the bill 鈥渆ffectively eliminates the requirement to obtain a concealed weapon permit,鈥?and that law-enforcement officers had concerns about the bill.SB126, by Sen. Roger Webb, R-Billings, allowing landlords to meet notice requirements on evictions by sending an email.SB149, by Sen. Matt Rosendale, R-Glendive, to allow 鈥渄irect primary care providers plans,鈥?in which patients give prepaid fees to physician for primary care, rather than being billed for each service. Bullock said the plans have 鈥渓ittle or no added value to most consumers.鈥漇B248, by Sen. John Brenden, R-Scobey, which requires that anyone providing public comment to a legislator or legislative committee must provide his or her name and city and state of residence.SB276, by Webb, establishing a directory of providers of Medicaid-covered personal-care services, but prohibiting the state from collecting private information on some care workers.SB376, by Brenden, restricting how state agencies can use 鈥渞ecovered indirect costs.鈥?Bullock said the bill could put state agencies in conflict with federal requirements on these costs, and create inequities in pay, by forbidding the use of these costs for pay increases or bonuses. Coach Outlet The seating was clearly not firmly fixed, because on Wednesday evenings there was to be ballroom dancing with pictures in the intervals.
    Here he is trying to get his stroke and his timing in the most pressure you feel all season, and it’s a little bit unfair. So I’m going to keep him out of that four spot, hit Freese there. He does well against lefties. The rest of the time against righties I’ll hit Berkman (fourth) and keep Matt fifth. Michael Kors Handbags 鈥淲e are employing more people than ever. Turnover was 拢7.8m when we joined and this year we expect it to be 拢14m. It was 拢40k short of 拢12m last year. We鈥檝e had to build another car park to accommodate new staff.
    Specifically, victims may not end up getting all that they are owed. Michael Kors Outlet Online HYPER-ACTIVITY
    w My partner, Simone, has the chicken and chorizo burger, also 拢7 with some coleslaw at another 拢1.50. It has that lovely, smoky, paprika chorizo taste and is filling. Gucci Outlet STEVE Delaney’s radio character being given the small screen treatment is reminiscent of 1970s comedian Harry Worth.
    In breaking the senior-laden Gators’ 30-game winning streak, the Huskies (31-8) will play for the national title as a No. 7 seed. Hollister Clothing Bake in preheated oven 10 to 12 minutes until edge browns. n True Religion Outlet
    鈥淲e鈥檝e got the personnel to play different formations, Thompson can play behind the front players, but I thought he was better in wide areas. His goal came from coming off the line and his cross for Nathan Cartman鈥檚 goal came from cutting inside. True Religion Outlet being there that they threatened to arrest me, I walked
    q Jacobs says he didn’t misrepresent that when he applied for the Easter Bunny job.”They didn’t ask for my background on the application that I filled out. It didn’t say anything about a criminal background,” Jacobs said. Jacobs noted that the terms of his parole does allow him to have supervised contact with children.”Cherry Hill Photo Enterprise Inc. provides the Easter photo experience at Westmoreland Mall, and as such is responsible for the hiring of all staff. it is regrettable that one of their local employees failed to follow their stringent background screening procedures,” said Sean Phillips, regional marketing director for Westmoreland Mal,l in an email to Pittsburgh’s Action News 4.聽 He agreed that the missed run-out chance had been one of the opportunities to win the game. p
    Durham Cathedral. I never cease to feel that sense of awe and wonder whenever I visit. Air Jordan Shoes The mousse came stuffed inside the rolled fillet of sole which when dipped in the generous portion of chowder and accompanied by the samphire was a fishy tasty treat.
    “It is true that the negotiations underway have nothing to do with alleviating any kind of terrorist sanctions, human rights sanctions or ballistic missile testing sanctions,” Corker said. “Should Iran commit an act of terrorism against an American, sanctions would be the minimum thing, I think, they’d have to be worried about. I think bombs and missiles on heads would be the thing they’d have to be concerned about.” Jordan Shoes Seven more people had been wounded, he said. t Coach Handbags
    If you hired an architect and he said I know I told you the building was going to be 67K but now it’s 75K I should not ask for a proper explanation and it would be reasonable for him to approve and commit me the increase without authorisation even though I foot the bill. Replica Rolex Watches “He explained that since he was a child, he’s had a very sensitive nose and loves to smell stuff. About two years ago, someone saw him with his head in a bush of flowers and suggested he should do something about it, so he concocted this perfume that I’m now a proud owner of.”
    Introduced about a decade ago, HSAs allow people to build up funds on a tax-favored basis to help pay for major health expenses. Coach Handbags The county governments will also be expected to mobilize revenue from other sources within their counties, such as taxes on property and entertainment. x Michael Kors Outlet
    An elegant cover drive off Lewis Gregory gave Richardson his seventh four and took him to 50 off 61 balls. Cheap Air Jordan Shoes Hexham鈥檚 Graeme Gowland continued his title assault in the Motorpoint British Supersport Championship with a pair of podiums on his Smiths Triumph.

  10. OCR says:

    It in no way ceases to surprize me that, with a bit of extra browsing on the internet, it is easy to uncover a few of the most special blogs. It is frustrating that extra blogs like this, arent listed at the best when I appear with yahoo internet, I’ve added you to my bookmarks, I also have a pal, that will genuinely take pleasure in this page, so ill send them, a link to your webpage, too. I’m specific they are going to genuinely enjoy it.

  11. supplierccb says:

    Chea MLB Jerseys

    Buffy is given a stake by Merrick. Among the top recommendations in the report, Toward Improving the Outcome of Pregnancy III: Enhancing Perinatal Health Through Quality, Safety and Performance Initiatives (TIOP III), is the need to reduce unnecessary inductions (up 13% since 1990) and c sections (up 50% since 1996). Clientele includes BMW, Christian Louboutin TATA AIA, Christian Louboutin SAP, McAfee, Akamai, Airbus and more. C est une nouvelle re qui s ouvre pour la recherche mdicale en Colombie Britannique, a dclar le ministre de la Sant, Michael de Jong, lors de l inauguration du centre. The issue will have a new and simpler design and presentation format. There a Christian radio station that plays where we live. The auditing report covers each and every aspect of search engine optimization, what should be changed and what should not be changed. But they were not successful Malawi saw the number of TB cases a year rise by four times over the past 15 years. Frank mercury poisoning in non occupationally exposed individuals is rare, but it will cause a range of neurological disorders ranging from tremor to sensory and balance disturbances and mental health problems such as memory loss and mood swings. FACT: FDA won permit drugs to be made in substandard facilities. For example, the use of stem cells obtained from unborn human fetuses created and destroyed for this very purpose is unethical in the eyes of Catholics.. This is different Cheap New York Jets NFL Jerseys from a policy that you get from your business employers which can have more health care advantages you can utilize off because of the smaller expenses, and also one which you can pick out with the higher health Cheap New York Knicks NBA Jerseys protection. Other major automobile stocks worth considering are General Motors and Volkswagen AG. For any of your real estate needs in the Greater Charlotte, NC area. Dreams don t have mystical powers to predict things and a dream of a divorce doesn t mean you re getting one. In 2002, 623 sleep centers were accredited by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Easy as pie.. Seafood, poeltry, vegetables and fruits have always been the basic food for human Cheap Golden State Warriors NBA Jerseys being. So your cost or the disease burden comes down because you have spent money appropriately on preventive health care. Don t think any of us really take this “competition” seriously and feel that it s a real competition. The Health Science Professionals Bargaining Association has suspended job action planned for Monday. The union s final demand was 2.9%, 2.9% and 3.25%.
    On rare occasion, an operation may be necessary, especially if you have experienced a perforation that allows the free flow of your colon s contents into your general abdominal cavity. The awareness of health insurance among self employed individuals and families is at much lower levels.. Place the trimmed strip of fat over the garlic herb mixture and tie with kitchen string in several places to secure the fat onto the top of the roast.. Taylor s (1911) Principles of Scientific Management[23] and Mayo s industrial psychology research in the late 1920s and early 1930s on workers at the Hawthorne Western Electric plant[24] helped to develop later research in OHP topics. I was first associated with McDonald by 2004 where we were largely Cheap Tampa Bay Rays MLB Jerseys behavioral health company that changed dramatically over the last several years, Christian Louboutin whereas today where we have great trends and we leader behavioral health, Cheap Miami Heat NBA Jerseys Christian Louboutin we also have great trends in several faculty areas and have grown to become a healthcare play.And we leaders in a number of areas, who will talk of course today about behavioral health and spend some time there. I rather hoping that maybe now Apple will finally encounter the real world, with people finally seeing how much they overpay.. When your immune system is fairly strong, then you can definitely think better and concentrate more. “Under the New York State Labor Law, payment for time not actually worked is not required unless the employer has Cheap Philadelphia Flyers NHL Jerseys established a policy to grant such pay,” the Labor Department s website says. News and World Report on colleges, but the University of Connecticut just whupped Yale, Harvard and Princeton in the Fourth Annual Trojan Sexual Health Report Card. That the beauty of health: The landscape is ever changing, and we always discovering new foods to eat, better ways to exercise, and more effective techniques to take care of our bodies. If at all in fact, for if we lower those two distribution numbers by insisting upon high quality insurance for the 47 million currently without it, the resouces required to maintain the slack in the system which allows that responsiveness will simply have to increase.. Those who select an Isapre can choose to pay more for a health insurance plan that provides additional coverage. Conditioning the hamstrings: training considerations for performance and injury preventionby Dr Duncan N. The Destin beachfront hotel features in room microwaves and refrigerators, satellite TV, complimentary high speed wireless Internet and free continental breakfast.

  12. Lauri Shannon says:

    Do you want to post your business on over 1000 ad sites every month? One tiny investment every month will get you virtually unlimited traffic to your site forever! Check out our site for details:

Leave a Reply