Archive for the ‘Funny Stuff’ Category

Damn you Doug!

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

Congress should put some serious pressure on Beyonce to get her to release new songs weekly. She’s seems to be our only hope!

From the Onion

The Bush News Briefs

Friday, December 5th, 2008

Here’s a pretty amusing series of short news briefs depicting our president’s adventures during his last days in office that the Onion published recently. It made me chuckle anyway.

KANSAS CITY, MO—President Bush sustained serious head injuries, massive internal bleeding, and a broken left leg Monday morning after being accidentally dragged behind the presidential motorcade for a period of 15 minutes. According to Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan, Bush’s necktie became caught in the trunk of the motorcade’s second vehicle at 4:13 p.m., shortly before the driver accelerated. The president was dragged down 175th Street for 26 blocks and through four stoplights, leaving a trail of blood more than a mile long. Upon hearing shouts emanating from behind his vehicle, the driver abruptly applied the brakes, causing the third car in the motorcade to run over the president’s left leg at a speed of approximately 25 miles per hour. President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital.


If the other party wins

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

Looks like we’re screwed either way….

The Christian gene

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

The scientist finally found it!

Ah. Now I know, I didn’t have a choice. I was born this way….. :)

Theology of a 5-year old

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

Both the wife and I are really trying to get our kids to speak and understand all three languages we speak. So, we make the effort to at least try to read books in all of them each night. Normally, we only have time for one or two books, depending on how tired the kids are. Yesterday, I grabbed a children’s Bible that we have in Polish, trying to be the good Catholic father. It’s actually pretty good and the stories are super simplified so the kids can understand. They’re also easy enough for me to read without constantly getting stuck on harder words, as my polish reading isn’t what it should be.

Lately, our daughter has developed this habit of pulling random books off the shelf and walking around the house pretending to read. Sometimes she even sits down and “teaches” a class with her stuffed animals as the students. Yesterday she schooled her purple bear Gentleman on French existentialism.

So today, I heard she was talking about how Jesus is the son of God while “reading” Catcher in the Rye and the Communist Manifesto. I’m thinking the girl must have some things seriously confused. Isn’t talking about God while reading Marx the equivalent of shouting profanities in church?

I’m sure Marx is turning in his grave.

Obama to stop outsourcing

Monday, October 20th, 2008

It’s about time, we start keeping the shitty jobs from leaving the country…

Space lady

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Just remembered a funny little exchange we had with our son on our way up to Tahoe last weekend.

We’re driving along, with our GPS turned on for directions. A female voice keeps telling us where to turn and how far it is till the next whatever….. All of a sudden our son starts asking about how the GPS works. We’ve had the thing for almost a year now, not sure why he felt like he needed to know this stuff now.  I’m driving, so my wife tries explaining. She goes on with quite an elaborate explanation about how there is a satellite in outer space that sends coordinates to our little GPS unit, and that the unit then translates those coordinates and shows them to us on a map, etc, etc.

We could hear cogs turning in his head at this point, and after a moment of silence, he finally asks:

- So, Is there a lady up there in space, in that satellite, talking to us?

Save the rich

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

Finally a charity I can get behind….